Experiment

   I got a Bluetooth keyboard for Christmas. My niece was going to help me set it up, but wasn't able to. So I decided to do it all on my own. It's not hard once you know what your're doing, but when you have never done a thing before, it's like moving into unknown territory where a lion could jump out and eat your face.

  I was afraid I would make some stupid mistake and ruin the keyboard. Then I would have to tell my niece and be all embarrassed or not tell her anything except I love the keyboard. Fortunately, I didn't have to make that decision.

  The instruction booklet was small. I like that. A whole lot less words and it was simple. And I learned something. You have to read the whole instruction. After I realized that, I went from this isn't right to this is easy.  Now I have a working keyboard and nothing to write about. 

Read More

M C

  With the speed of life going at the speed of light it is nice to stop and take a breath. Observe the lights and multitude of decorations. Laugh with family and friends. To eat a good meal and sit back and relax. It is good to take a pause. Merry Christmas.

Read More

A Nice Little Song?

  I was sitting in Taco Bell one day when I heard a nifty song. I was liking
the beat when I heard the line, "I'm in love with your body." I felt like it was
objectifying someone and I was uncomfortable with that. But, I loved the beat.
Yesterday the ear worm came. I thought, I have to change that line. I came
up with, "I'm in love with your money." That seemed totally crass so I changed
 it to, "I'm in love with you, Honey" That is so much better. Feel free to used it.

Read More

A Good Read

  If you're like me you don't have a lot of time to read. I recommend a book that's entertaining and short. 'The Bear Who Wasn't There' by LeUyen Pham. It takes no time at all to read and it's fun. If you have to entertain kids I recommend 'We Are In A Book' by Mo Willems. You and the children will enjoy it. Unless you have no soul. Then there's nothing I can do for you. Have a good day.

Read More

We're On Super Speed

  I've got to ask, where did summer go? I hadn't gotten used to the idea of summer and it was gone. I was thinking of all the things I wanted to do. Go to the park. Eat ice cream. Sit and listen to outdoor jazz. Then suddenly the leaves turned red. The weathered cooled. And there was talk of Christmas. Time is moving too fast. I've already heard talk about March. It's like sitting down to dinner and before the grace is said, the table's cleared. I feel like everything is running together. We'll soon have Janfrmarjunyaugstenodecjan. Winsprsumfallwin. Sometimes I can't hardly breathe. I'd like to say, let's slow down, but we don't have any control over this. Well this was fun. I'm already two years older. Have a good day.

Read More

Zero

 It's not ready for public use, but I have another great idea. A long while back, I came up with the idea of using a time machine to allow you to sleep as long as you wanted and then move back in time and go to work. Someone said, you might wake yourself up and ruin the whole idea of sleeping in. That made me rethink the whole time machine thing. At first I thought of having a second apartment, but realized that was silly. Then I thought of a zero time room. In this room time wouldn't pass and you could sleep as long as you wanted and not be late for work.  The problem with that is if you go to bed at ten you would wake at ten and be awake all night and that would defeat the propose of the zero time room. Finally, I came up with the zero time machine. It's like an alarm clock. You set it for eight a. m. or whatever time you chose. You can set it for an hour or two . Then you can sleep or doze or just lay in bed being lazy. Of course the zero time machine can be used for other things. You can read a book or watch a movie. You wouldn't have to multitask. You'll be doing twice the work at half the time. You'll be doing more work than ever, but you will be more exhausted than every which would mean you will need the zero time machine more than ever. I think it might be addictive. Maybe we should stay away from the zero time machine. Let's forget the whole idea. It's not worth it. Have a restful day.

Read More

Stuff And Stuff

I've been taking care of a lot of stuff lately. Details for my Mom. Details for me. The other day l needed to get my Mom to the doctor, but I had to take care of one more thing. I was late leaving the house, so I was really late getting Mom. Mom uses a walker and was slower than normal. We were way behind when we finally got to the doctor's office. I was thinking I need to do better. Then I realized, I don't have time to improve myself.

Read More

You Can't!?

I wanted to ask Siri a question, just for fun. I couldn't think of one and muttered "Let me see." Siri responded, "That may be beyond my abilities at the moment."

Read More

My Crazy Song

  I only doing this for copyright purposes. I don't want someone stealing my cool, cool song and raining on my parade.
             When it's Saturday night and you got nothing to do, just give me a call, I'll tell you what to  
              chew.
              Just pop the bike, drop that load, smoke the road, but brother don't you kill the toad.
              I don't want a nickel.I want a pickle to eat and eggs to beat, but you can't do that when you  
              hit the street.  
              Eenie Meenie, the mighty mole, went up the hill to get some snow. Slipped and fell and hit
              his head. This the end, is what he said.
              Drop the mike.
              Walk away.
              Cause brother, you know, this world just don't make sense.
             
             

Read More

How Did He Do That?

  My six year old nephew became enamored with the Jerry Lewis movie "The Nutty Professor." He wanted to know how the professor changed into Buddy Love. I told him, it was special effects. He didn't buy that. He wanted to look up potions. I knew we would get Harry Potter, so we looked up chemistry and we checked YouTube for experiments. He did his own experiments at the kitchen sink using salt, pepper, cinnamon, cocoa and bath powder. Basically, he used anything he could get his hands on.
  We were watching the movie one day and my nephew asked, "What is he?" I was thinking, he's a professor, a chemist, a scientist. My nephew came up with his own answer. "He's a potion artist!"

Read More

My Duty

  I just finished my jury duty for the year. I have been called up for this duty every other year for years. I have yet to sit on a panel. I came close. I actually sat in the seat, but the defense didn't want me and I was dismissed. I got twelve dollars. Had to pay taxes on it. You'd think if I was willing to do my civic duty the government should be willing to let me do it tax free. 

Read More

What's First?

  It's an age old question. What came first? The chicken or the egg? My point of view is that the chicken had to come first. The chicken laid the egg. Many might disagree. Do they think the egg just grew out of the ground? The thought came to me. Not all eggs come with chickens in them. There are the eggs you eat and the eggs that hatch. There is no hatching unless that egg was fertilized. The egg can't be fertilized without the rooster a.k.a. the chicken. So the age old question is finally settled. You can stop fighting now. You're welcome.

Read More

Let's Be Fair

  It was July the 4th and I watched two little girls chase each other as they laughed. I thought, isn't it good to have a day off. Then I realized. This is summer. Every day is a day off for kids. It isn't fair. What we should do is have kids work the week of Independence Day. That way kids would enjoy a day off like the rest of us. Wouldn't that be nice?

Read More

Time Keeps Slipping Away

   I was thinking, I haven't done my blog for a couple of weeks. Then I checked the date on my latest blog. It was April. April!? Who stole my month!? Where did June go? Am I missing any other months? I have to be. My fourteen year old nephew is suddenly fifteen. My sixteen year old niece is about to turn seventeen. I have another niece who is a full grown adult who won't lend me money. Thank God, I have one nephew who's hanging in there. He still a young kid. I hope he stays that way for another ten years. By then I think I can handle his getting a little older.

Read More

  I saw a challenge on Facebook. It asked people to come up movie quotes that identify a movie when you hear them. I thought it was fun. I came up with a few.
         "You had me at hello."
         "Houston, we have a problem."
         "Tomorrow is another day."
         "If you build it, he will come."
         "I'll have what she's having."
         "They're here."
         "We don't need no stinkin' badges."
         "Life is like a box of chocolates."
         "You can't handle the truth!"


  The funny thing about movie quotes. You don't have to have seen the movie to know the quote. Have fun. Enjoy. Tootles.

Read More

Broadway Here I Come!!!

It's going to be a big hit. A smash. Bigger than 'Cats'. I'm going to have it made! Recently I saw a 3-D cutout of a bunny. It was lined with small bulbs. It reminded me of Broadway. Then I saw a 3-D cutout of a heart. It was also lined with bulbs. That's when I came up with the great idea. 'Broadway Bunny, Broadway heart'. It's about a young girl who comes to New York to become an actress. She has ups and downs, but makes it big. It's going to be great. All I need now is someone to write the music, the lyrics, and the play. Wish me luck.

Read More

What Should I Do?

  I was making a career decision. Do I become a character actor or a star? There are ups and downs with both choices. A character actor gets more jobs, but less money. A star can get 20 million dollars a picture. A star has to deal with the paparazzi. A character actor has more privacy, but doesn't get invited to the Jimmy Fallon Show. I just couldn't make up my mind. Then I looked in the mirror. Made a decision. Character actor. Easy choice.

Read More

Where did it go?

  Have you ever put something in a certain place so you know exactly where it is. Then you need that thing and you go to where you know it's is and it's not there. You're shocked. You know you put it there. There is no one else around. It couldn't have moved. It has to be there, but it's not. I think every home is equipped with a tiny black hole. It's so small, it can't be seen. It floats all over the home, sucking up important things. I have one for sale, if anyone is interested.

Read More

Never hurry

I thought I would write a quick post, just so you know I'm still alive. I have less than five minutes. I know better than to do something in a hurry. There's more mistakes. Your fingers forget how to type.
You don't have enough time to check, properly, your work and do it right. The clock is ticking down. It's a good thing I don't have to save the world because, I'm sure all will be lost. I don't think I have time to finish wi

Read More

Happy Marriage

  I heard Rob Reiner talk about his parents who have been married for sixty-four years. His Mother once told him that the secret to a happy marriage was to find someone who will put up with you.

Read More

Gentlemen

  I watched a couple of teenage boys cross the street. I noticed one of them had his underwear showing. I couldn't help wondering why. Why do they do this? Then I realized, males like getting a glimpse of a pretty girl's underwear. They think girls like the same thing. That's why some men feel free to put their hand on an attractive woman's knee. If they were to walk into an office and see a beautiful naked woman they would be thrilled. Guys women are not thrilled to see your naked sagging flesh. Women are appalled and want to laugh.
  If you want to make yourself attractive to women, even if you are not that attractive, learn to cook. Improve your mind. Be courteous. Be confident. Be a gentleman. And keep your pants on!

Read More

Old Movies

I love old movies. They're cozy. Especially the black and white. There's nothing like a Humphrey Bogart or Katharine Hepburn movie. They're like hot chocolate and a warm blanket. You don't have to worry about inappropriate words or inappropriate scenes. You just lay back and drift into a comfy, good time. Sweet.

Read More

Campaign Ads

  We are in another election year. We are in for more campaign ads. We are going to learn how great one person is and how bad is the other. I think these ads should be more fun. I came up with a couple of ideas.
  The first ad shows an aide attempting to change candidate John Smith image. Making him more friendly. There are a bunch of Disney ties hanging on the wall. An aide hands John one. John frowns.  "Bob. I am a former United State senator. I'm running for president. I can't wear a Goofy tie." He hands the tie back. "Give me Mickey."
  The next ad would show the senator supposedly hard at work. An aide rushes in. "Senator. We're losing the Goofy vote. We've got to do something." Next we see the senator sitting on a tall stool. He's wearing a big Goofy hat. "Hello. I'm John..." He pulls the hat off his head. "Bob. I can't do this. Let the other guy have the Goofy vote."

Read More