I Allegedly Wrote This

   If you listen to the news, you are likely to hear something like, 'John Doe allegedly shot and killed his neighbor.' Allegedly is used to protect news media from lawsuits. 

  Sometimes you will hear, 'The police allegedly arrested John Doe for the murder of his neighbor. '

  There is no allegedly about it. The police did arrest John Doe. They arrested him on camera, in front of witnesses, It's in the police report and probably in the public records.

  This is going overboard trying to protect someone. However, in this day and age, it might not be enough. Allegedly. 

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Time Enough At Last

   Isn't it wonderful when you have all the time in the universe to anything you want to do and you spend all your time trying to figure out what to do first. 

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BUGS!!! UGH!!!

 "Mosquitoes! What good are they?", I have heard myself say. I have said something similar about flies and fleas and bugs in general.                                      I finally decided to look it up. I hoped to find, Bugs! What are they good for? Absolutely nothing!                                        I am sad to say, I was wrong. Bugs are useful, even necessary.                                  First, spiders keep the bug population down. We would be over run by bugs if they didn't.                                                      Bees, flies, and mosquitoes pollinate, very important for humans .                      Fleas and, yes, cockroaches, as well as other pest have value. They are a vital food source for birds, fish, lizards and mammals.                                                        Many bugs are a valuable source of protein, essential  vitamins and minerals. A lot break down decaying organic waste and release essential nutrients into the soil. Some can be used in forensic science, scientific and medical research.                                   Bugs! We need them. We can't live without them. They make our lives better.                                                                After all my research, I have come to the conclusion that, I STILL DON'T WANT BUGS IN MY HOME!!!!

  

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Don't Whine

   Two retired friends, Mort and Frank, sat watching the sunset. Mort was complaining about the aches and pains of getting old. 

  "I'm not old," Frank said. "I'm aged, like fine wine." 

  "Young wine is fine," Mort said. "Old wine turns into vinegar." 

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T V Comedy

  Boston was freezing cold. Some of the men of Cheers wanted to find a way prove their manhood. A customer named Paul said that when he was a kid his family, no matter what the weather was like, would run and jump into the ocean. 

  The Boston men thought that was a great idea and hurriedly left the bar to jump into the sea.

  After they left, Clara asked Paul where did he grow up?

  "Hawaii," he said. 

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