Christmas!

Every year I hear the same thing. Someone says, in a you're so stupid voice, Christmas was a pagan holiday. This year I heard something different. I heard someone say that Christmas is a holiday that has been redeemed. What a happy thought. Christmas is a time of rebirth, redemption and rejoicing. Merry Christmas.

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C. Movies

Almost most everyone has one. Not everyone can publish it. I can, so here it is. My top ten Christmas movies.
1. White Christmas
2. Muppet Christmas Carol
3. It's A Wonderful Life
4. Miracle on 34th Street
5. The Santa Clause 1, 2, and 3
6. Christmas Story
7. In The Nick Of Time (made for t.v. movie)
8. We're No Angels
9. Christmas  With The Kranks
10. Ernest Saves Christmas
HONORABLE MENTION: Jiggle All The Way

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Thrillseeker

Do you want the thrill and excitement, without the fun, of a demolition derby? Try driving during Christmas shopping season. There are cars rushing out of parking lots. Cars pressing behind you as you try to leave a parking spot. Others edging in to beat you to a parking space. Cars coming from everywhere. Everyone's in a hurry to finish their seasonal duties. There is no time to slow down. Christmas is just a few shopping days away. Thank God stores are closed on Christmas. We can take a breather before it's time to return our gifts and catch the after Christmas specials. Happy Christmas!

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knight

My friend and I were coming up with slogans for t-shirts. I came up with, He wants to be her knight in shinning armor. She just wants a hug. I have thought better of it. I prefer, You don't have to slay dragons to be her knight in shinning armor. Sometimes it just takes a hug...or killing a bug. Love to all.

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Slow Time

I was shopping for groceries the other day and noticed that it seemed more crowded than usual than normal. I realized it must be the Thanksgiving day shopping. Then it occurred to me, right after Thanksgiving comes the Christmas meal shopping. I thought who put Thanksgiving so close to Christmas. There's no rest for the weary.
It was Abraham Lincoln who officially set the Thanksgiving day and back then it wasn't so close to Christmas. Christmas has always been on the 25th of December, but life was much slower. There was not so much to occupy life. Life was hard, but simpler and time was slower.
Now life is more hectic. We have a whole lot more to deal with and it is like we have less time to do more. I like to think of holidays as a break from the speed of life. We can take time to think of how truly blest we are. We are more likely to live to a ripe old age. Our children are more likely to live pass their childhood. We have warm or cold at turn of a dial. We have choice in what we eat. We can easily travel. We can stay in communication to anyone in any place. We have so much and today is the day to say, Thank You.

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Wait

I do my spring cleaning in the fall...of next year.
I'm a procrastinator.
When I get ready for bed, I do it the next morning.
I'm a procrastinator.
The day I was born, I waited a week.
I'm a procrastinator.
And when it comes my time to go to my reward, It will have to wait until tomorrow.
I'm a procrastinator.

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Choir

There was a man who, a long time ago, was in choir, but didn't have a suit he needed. Someone found a suit he could wear, but it was extra large and he wasn't. Somehow they rolled up or pinned up the pants so he could wear them. The coat could wrap around him twice and it hung  down past his knees. He was standing behind the first row of singers waiting to do his solo when he notice itch on his right thigh. It wasn't just a little itch. It was a deep below the skin itch and he couldn't ignore it. He started scratching. I mean, really scratching. He looked down and saw the right pant leg had been pulled up until it disappeared under the jacket. That tickled him so he pulled the left pant leg up until it disappeared and it looked like he wasn't wearing any pants. That's when the choir parted to let him sing. You don't forget that kind of thing.

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Nip

I love the old Andy Griffin show. It was not only nice family entertainment, but it was also funny. One of the funniest was Barney Fife. He was always doing goofy things. Like trying to reform criminals by giving them crafts to work on and they made a key and escaped. Once he went undercover as an old lady and everyone knew him. He always had an opinion or piece of advice that was crazy, but one piece of advice was good. "Nip it in the bud."
If you see something bad starting, stop it before it gets too big to stop. This can be the way people treat you or you treat people. This can be bad behavior. This can be a party that is getting out of hand. In fact this can be anything in life. If it is not a good thing, nip it in the bud. Well that's all I have to say. Good day.

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Daylight

This week is maybe the last week this year that you can enjoy sitting in the evening sun. Next Sunday is the day we turn our clocks back. For me, it is a sign that winter is setting in. It's time to put away your sunscreen and go indoors. I feel a little melancholy at this time. I love feeling the sun on me and sitting on the porch, playing games or just talking. But inside there is the comfort  of a blanket and the warmth of family and friends. To quote Martha, It's a good thing.

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Playboy

I heard that Playboy will no longer printing pictures of unclad women. Then I saw an ad for women's underwear and I thought, why have Playboy when you have Victoria's Secret.

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Change

The wind blew really hard. The trees moved back and forth as if they sang and danced, excited about the coming rebirth. I wonder if they know that they will have to lose all of their leaves before the change can happen. But, what glorious colors we will see as the leaves fall and cover the ground like a carpet.

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Ha!

One of my favorite stories is, A grandmother and her grandson were playing on the beach when a huge wave came up and swept the boy away. The grandmother looked up to heaven and said, "Oh, God please bring my grandson back." Another huge wave swept in and left her grandson on the shore. She looked up to heaven and said, "He had a hat!"

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Texting

Here's the picture. Robert and Julia are speeding down the old highway when she sees he is texting.
"Don't do that. It's dangerous." "I'm fine," he says. "No. Let me do it," she says. "I'm almost done," he says. She gets real impatient and grabs his phone. "You're breaking up with me!? In a text!? I'm sitting right next to you!" She slams the phone on his head and he slams the car into a tree. This is why you don't text and drive.

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Great Idea

It was a simple idea, but so brilliant. Someone took a everyday expression and turned it into free advertisement. Now, every time you raise the volume and ask, "Can you hear me now?", you think of Verizon. I hope they are a good company.

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Celebrate

Bring out the sparkling cider. It is time to celebrate! My blog has had over 1000 views. I was told that this is really good. So my thanks to those of you who took the time to take a look at what I had to say. I hope you enjoyed and will continue to enjoy my blog. Again, thank you.

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Labor Day

Today is the day we celebrate Labor Day by not laboring. A great way to celebrate. Happy. Happy. Happy. While we enjoy not working, let's spare a thought for those who have to work on this day. Let's remember the firemen, police, doctors, nurses, members of the military and some janitors. I am sure there are many others who could not take this day off. So let's say a big Thank You before we go on to enjoy the day.  Happy Labor Day.

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I'm Not A Poet, Don't You Know It.

I have a little poet in me.
Now and then, she wants to slip out.
She doesn't want to scream or shout.
She just wants to tell you what it's all about.
The next time she has something to say,
I think I might just let her have her way.

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Peace

I saw a bumper sticker that read, "Another woman for peace." Another woman for peace?  Like the rest of us aren't. I wanted to get a sticker that read Another woman for war. Another woman for poverty. Tooth decay.
 Another woman for peace. Does she think we're all arming up to invade Canada? Keep your powder dry, people.

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Oh Joy!

Have you seen the commercial with the cartoon bears selling toilet paper? Their tagline is,
"Enjoy the go."  Enjoy the go!? The go is no joy. In my opinion, the go is a necessary evil. It's something you have to do to stay well and the go will happen without your consent. The go happens at inconvenient times. The go can be embarrassing, if you aren't near that tiny little room. And even if you have time to read a novel, there still is no joy in the go. The best you can do is feel relief after the go. The best thing about that commercial is, it gives you time for the go and the bears are cute. Feel the joy, people.

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Yr Six

 I don't know what it is like to be an abled-bodied person who becomes disabled. Or how one might feel diminished when you now require the kind of help you used to give. How can you change that feeling.
I was in a grocery store one day when a man in a wheelchair was unable to reach something on the shelf. Another man came around the corner and said, "I've got you bro." This is battlefield talk. In the military they say, "I've got your six." This says, "We're in this together. I got your back. You got mine. Sometimes you need help and sometimes I need help." No matter what your abilities are, you can still be of help. If it's reaching a can from the top shelf or picking up a pencil from the floor or giving a word of comfort. Sometimes it just takes a little to do a lot. God bless you.

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Shut Your Can

Men don't understand why it is important to put down the toilet seat. I understand the yuck factor, but I can't explain it. Even if I could explain, men still wouldn't understand because they don't live in the woman zone. Here's the thing, it is an off switch. Women feel a little less and sometimes a lot less loving when it comes to the bedroom. So it doesn't matter if it makes no sense. What matters is how many hugs do you want. Good day.

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Relax

Some days are made for not thinking. This is one of them. It is warm. My brain is slow.
I am tired. A day like this is when you put down the smartphone or iPod or whatever keeps your attention. Find a place to just sit and put up your feet. Rediscover birds and sunsets. Hum a tune. Don't think. Just enjoy the peace of doing nothing. Which I will do as soon as I find the time.

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Scream!!

Here's an interesting piece of advice that I hope I never have to follow. If you get a leg cramp so painful that it makes you scream, be sure to scream "Cramp!". That so people won't think you are having a heart attack and call 911. This will save expense, time, and trouble. It will also save you a lot of embarrassment. That's always a good thing.

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Rule the world?

From Gilligan's Island.
 Villain: "Mr. Howell, how would you like to rule the world?"
Howell: "Rule it? I'd rather buy it and hire someone to run it."
Mr. Howell has it right. There is nothing wrong in being rich or even fabulously wealthy, but some want to grab all they can until they have more than they or their great, great, great, grandchildren can spend. Having it all would be nice, but why do you want more?

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BILLIONS!!

There are billions and billions of people on earth and we each have our own fingerprint that matches no one else. And, aside from identical twins, no one has our DNA. Each of us have our own personal voiceprint and retina.  These are used to show our own special identity. No one can have exactly what we have. Yet, with the billions and billions of people we have only four blood types. Only four. I think it is miraculous. We can share our blood with others that cannot match us in other way. Without harming ourselves, we can give blood to save lives. It's a happy thought.

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HAPPY FORTH!!

I just want to say, happy Forth of July. I am thankful to live in such a blessed country. We have our trials, troubles and imperfections, but these are things we are free to work on and improve and fuss about when things don't go our way. Go, Red, White and Blue!!!

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Myth

I love a play on words. There is a book series I haven't read, but I love the tittles. I am forced to share them with you. Yes, I am. You won't believe me, but it's true. The titles are Myth-ing Persons, Another Fine Myth, Myth Conceptions, Myth Directions, Hit or Myth and Myth-ion Improbable. They are at the very least, amusing. So smile. Have a slap-happy day.

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PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!

I was sitting in the courtyard of our local library reading magazines while my pre-school nephew played. "What is that?" he asked.  I causally looked up and realized he was talking about a sound. "That's a car," I said and went back to the magazine. "What's that?" he asked again. I barely looked up. "I think that's a car." "What is that?" My mind was still on the magazine. "I think it's a motorcycle." The next thing I knew, he was standing right in front of me, he's face close to mine. "Look me in the eyeballs," he said. "What is that?" "A car," I said. After he had gotten my mind on him and not my magazine he was satisfied and went back to playing. I guess that is what some people want. Just to know that once in a while they have your full attention.

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The Net

I love the internet. Yes, I know it has been around for decades.  So have I, but sometimes I feel like a baby who has just discovered her toes. Do you have an unanswered question? A stupid question? Have you missed an episode of you favorite show? Do you want to play a game? Find your family tree? Watch old videos? Get the lyrics to a half heard song? Do you want an actors bio? Do you want to learn a new language? Do you want to watch something silly? Go to the internet. It is beyond my imagination what can be seen and done on the internet. It is a wondrous thing.

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Regrow

 "What's a lanyard?" I asked my friend.
 "That thing around your neck."
 "Oh.", I said. "I learned something new." Then I brightened. "My brain just grew."
 I had just read an article that said as we grew older the memory part of our brain shrinks. The good news. We can regrow that part of our brain. One way is to learn something new everyday. I don't know if learning one word alone can do the trick, but it couldn't hurt.
 If you want to read the article, go to Prevention magazine. Don't ask me which issue. I don't remember.

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I Love

I love books. I mean the kind made of paper and you hold in your hand and can feel the page when you turn it. I'm a glutton for books. I can't afford my habit so I make use of the library. In fact, my dream is to be locked overnight in the library. The library has all kinds of books. Books I've heard about and more that I haven't. If you have the time, the library can be an indoor adventure. You can find loads of things you didn't know people wrote about and some things you didn't want to know people wrote about. There is no telling what surprises wait for you in your local library. I'm smiling just thinking about it.

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No!!!

There is a public service announcement I hear a lot. It's against text bullies. Apparently a teen is being pressured to take nude selfies. At one point she texts that she has already said no, but did she?
She texts, " I'd love to, but my web cam is broken." He thinks,"'She interested."
 She texts, "I'm a vampire. My pictures don't show up anyway." He thinks, "She's flirting."
She texts, "I'm afraid they'll get passed around at school." He thinks, "She's wants to very careful."
Here's the thing, half of the world's population can't catch the hint. If you do not want to do something say no. You don't have to be polite. You don't have to spare their feelings. Just say no.

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It's Bad For You?

  It used to be that eggs were bad for you. We were told to eat only two a week. Now they are good for you. Have two a day. We were told that butter was bad for you. Now we are told to daily  have a pad of butter . Then we learned that fat is good. You need it for you brain. And I've heard that salt and white bread may not be all that bad. What comes next? Cigarettes?

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Pens

 What I love about the dollar store is that I get about ten pens for a dollar. Then I take them home and put them in a drawer. That I will always have a pen handy. Then when they all disappear I just buy more for only a dollar. I will never be without a pen until I really need one.  Life is good.

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Transporter

Do you know what I hate about traveling? Unpacking. When I come home, I just drop my bag and wait until I need something and then I unpack. The second thing I hate is packing. I have to think, do I have everything? What I want is a transporter apt. If I suddenly need my umbrella, I can tap my phone and it's there. Fancy restaurant? Just tap and there's the little black dress. Lose my keys? They're a finger tap away. A transporter apt can be very useful, at home or away. Just don't lose the phone.

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At Ease

 Have you ever gone to sit on your patio to enjoy the sun, a good book and some quiet alone time and your neighbor comes out at the same time.  You know he has the right to be in his yard, but you wish he would just go back inside. You try to read, you can't keep your mind on the book because he is there and he won't go away!  You keep thinking, "Leave, already!" Then you look to see what he is doing and see he has gone back inside. Boy, isn't that embarrassing.

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Thank You!

I want to give my friend a big thanks. She is the one who helped me with my blog. She designed it and gave me advise and encouraged me to do it. She makes me feel brilliant. So, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

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Hello, Hello

I know I haven't written for a while. You probably thought I died or eloped or something. No. I just been to the moon.  Sorry I haven't been in touch, but there is no internet on the moon.  No, really. No internet. The moon is a place to quietly think about life and appreciate air. Well, I'm back.  I know you're relieved.

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How To Defeat Clutter

This is for those of us who are tired, busy, unorganized and lack the neat gene.

1. Do not focus on the whole home. Focus on a small part.
2. Start where you want to start. Do not start where everyone else thinks you should start. It's your home.
3. Plan to have time.  Set aside 5 minutes or half an hour to put away, throw away, or give away stuff.
4. Make small achievable goals. Pick up 5 items or 25 items.  Remember it is your choice.
5.Baskets, baskets, baskets. Hooks, hooks, hooks.  Big baskets, little baskets, all make clutter look better. Put one on top of the micro-wave.  Put hooks behind doors or on doors or anywhere handy. 
6. Focus on what you have accomplished, not on what wasn't done.  If you put one dish in the dishwasher or one sweater in the closet, you have accomplished something.
7. Look for helpful hints.  They may not all work for you, but some might.  Some are pretty cool.

Here is how you really defeat Clutter.  Always remember, you are not the clutter.  The clutter is not you. Clutter is a challenge. A hill you climb, one step at time.

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Two Cats

Two cats stared at each other,
Each filled with envy.
The indoor cat wanted his freedom.
The outdoor cat wanted in from the cold.

Two cats stared at each other,
Each filled with pity.
The indoor cat was warm and cozy.
The outdoor cat was free.

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Eggs

A friend and I were talking about how vegans don't drink milk or eat eggs. Then I thought, what do the chickens do with all those eggs if humans don't eat them? Has anyone ever thought that maybe chickens take pride in the fact that they help to feed the world? It's just a thought.

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Superstitions come from people not listening to common sense.  You've heard that it is bad luck to walk under a ladder. It is not bad luck, it's dangerous. If you walk under a ladder you could knock someone off or knock the ladder over.  Did anyone pay any attention to this?  No.  They just kept walking under that ladder until someone said, "It's bad luck." You could poke someone's eye out opening an umbrella in the house.  Did anyone care if someone went blind? No. Only when it became bad luck did they keep those umbrellas closed. Mirrors used to easily slip through fingers and drop to the floor leaving shards of glass for unwary feet. People got a firm grip on those mirrors when there was the threat of seven years bad luck. Self interest changes a person's behavior, not common sense. Now here are somethings that really carry bad luck. Littering. Cutting in line. Talking in the theater. coughing in public. Take of yourself people.

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Period

I was working on my blog when my friend pointed out that I had forgotten to put a period at the end of my sentence. The philosopher in me thought, why put a period to my thoughts?  Maybe, a hundred years from now, someone will read my blog, probably when the chip in his head, and will want to add something profound or clever.  Or, it might be something really stupid. Period. End of sentence. Get your own blog.

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Get Out Of My Way

Sometimes I think about getting a twitter account so I can tell people when I am coming.  I want people to stay home, remain at work, stay in the store. Don't get behind me, in front of me or come toward me. Just get out of my way.  Or would that be rude?

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