MISTAKE?

  I was watching a You Tube video about movie errors. They showed a clip from Pulp Fiction.

They were pointing out the mistake Samuel L. Jackson made with his well known Bible quote. But it was not necessarily a mistake. Maybe the writer got it wrong or Jackson did, but it is an accident that works. People often misquote scripture. It happens all the time. So, Mr. Jackson, you brilliant actor, you're off the hook. You're welcome.

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CAT

  My niece and her family were preparing to get a kitten. They were trying to decide if it should be a family cat or belong to her nine year old son. My niece was talking about how to take care of a cat. She was saying, ''And you would have to clean the litter box."
  "Mom," my nephew said. "It's a family cat!"

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Everyone Needs One

I was at a family birthday party when something was spilled. Someone said, "I didn't do it." I said,  I have an alibi." My third niece said, "I saw you there." I said, "That was my evil twin." My fourth niece asked, "Why don't I have an evil twin when I need one?"

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Godzilla

  My nine year old nephew loves Godzilla. He has the latest Godzilla movie and watches it often. Sometimes he quietly watches and other times he makes comments. One day we were watching it when  King Ghidorah was down and Godzilla was standing over him.  When Ghidorah was about to be crushed,  my nephew provided his dialogue. "No.No. Let me explain!"

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Listen Up!

  There are rules, people. Rules. Halloween is in October. Not September. I don't want to see
Halloween decorations before the official start of fall, according to Linda's rules for living.
  Here's how the seasons really lay out. Anyone who tells you different is just plain wrong.
  Spring is March through May. Summer is June through August. September is a prelude to fall.
Fall is October through November. Winter is December through February.
  March 1st is the first day of the new year. This is when you put out the spring things. In
June you put out more flowers. September is when you cut back on the flowers. In October
you take away the flowers and put out the golden leaves and other fall things. You are now
allowed to put out Halloween things. December, and not before, you can bring out Christmas
joy.
   If you follow these rules, you're life will be much better and you will make me happy. That's
very important. Making me happy.

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NO WAY!!!

  I love the life hacks advice. They have a lot of interesting ideas. I was reading about five ways to lose weight. It started with drink more water and I think, I can do that. The third was less sugar. I had pause on that one. When it said, no fast food, I knew I was dealing with a quack. Everyone knows there is no life without fast food.

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New Job?

  He: My son just got a job as a night stalker.

  Me: Night stalker!? That's a job now!? What? Is he going to get a paid vacation? Medical
leave? Bonuses? Holiday pay? What is this world coming to?

  He: No. He's a night stocker

  Me: Oh.

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