CAT

  My niece and her family were preparing to get a kitten. They were trying to decide if it should be a family cat or belong to her nine year old son. My niece was talking about how to take care of a cat. She was saying, ''And you would have to clean the litter box."
  "Mom," my nephew said. "It's a family cat!"

Read More

Everyone Needs One

I was at a family birthday party when something was spilled. Someone said, "I didn't do it." I said,  I have an alibi." My third niece said, "I saw you there." I said, "That was my evil twin." My fourth niece asked, "Why don't I have an evil twin when I need one?"

Read More

Godzilla

  My nine year old nephew loves Godzilla. He has the latest Godzilla movie and watches it often. Sometimes he quietly watches and other times he makes comments. One day we were watching it when  King Ghidorah was down and Godzilla was standing over him.  When Ghidorah was about to be crushed,  my nephew provided his dialogue. "No.No. Let me explain!"

Read More

Listen Up!

  There are rules, people. Rules. Halloween is in October. Not September. I don't want to see
Halloween decorations before the official start of fall, according to Linda's rules for living.
  Here's how the seasons really lay out. Anyone who tells you different is just plain wrong.
  Spring is March through May. Summer is June through August. September is a prelude to fall.
Fall is October through November. Winter is December through February.
  March 1st is the first day of the new year. This is when you put out the spring things. In
June you put out more flowers. September is when you cut back on the flowers. In October
you take away the flowers and put out the golden leaves and other fall things. You are now
allowed to put out Halloween things. December, and not before, you can bring out Christmas
joy.
   If you follow these rules, you're life will be much better and you will make me happy. That's
very important. Making me happy.

Read More

NO WAY!!!

  I love the life hacks advice. They have a lot of interesting ideas. I was reading about five ways to lose weight. It started with drink more water and I think, I can do that. The third was less sugar. I had pause on that one. When it said, no fast food, I knew I was dealing with a quack. Everyone knows there is no life without fast food.

Read More

New Job?

  He: My son just got a job as a night stalker.

  Me: Night stalker!? That's a job now!? What? Is he going to get a paid vacation? Medical
leave? Bonuses? Holiday pay? What is this world coming to?

  He: No. He's a night stocker

  Me: Oh.

Read More

BUY THAT CAR!!!

  I was reading a book where one character was upset that another character had bought a really expensive car. "Do you know how many families could be feed with that money?"
  I have heard this type of question for years. I have never heard anyone ask, "Do you know how many families are fed because I spent this money?"
  A car has to have a designer. It's not done for free. A prototype has to be built. Someone
gets paid for that. Materials have to be bought. Materials have to be delivered. None of this
is free.
  Then comes the assembling, shipping, and selling. The car, once purchased, has to be
maintained. After a time, the car becomes a used car and sold again. Eventually it ends in
a junkyard and it's parts sold. At each of these stages someone earns money and a family is
fed, clothed and sheltered. And, what do you know? The money is passed on. A never ending
circle.
  So, buy that car and know you helped feed a hungry family.




































someone
 

Read More