The other day I was standing near a park bench. In front of it was a cigarette urn and it was locked. I couldn't help thinking, who would want to steal used cigarettes? Who would care? Then I thought about some poor schmoe so desperate for smokes he is willing to dig through other people's dirty butts to find one. Then I thought someone should have a little mercy. A little compassion. Let the guy have all leftover butts he wants. Then I realized this isn't about cigarettes. It's about something secret. Something classified. Maybe there are someone's emails in there. Don't laugh. I've heard crazier.
