Ned and Tammy were having their coffee break when Ned said, "Tomorrow, I'm putting up my Christmas tree. I feel like I just took it down " "Yeah," Tammy said. "It seems like time is rushing by.". "Sure does," Ned said. "Maybe I should have taken the tree down in February instead of waiting until November. "
Friday, November 21, 2025
Friday, October 17, 2025
Are You A He?
Ned and Tammy were having a lunch break at work. "You know sometimes a woman wakes up in the morning, she doesn't feel like putting on makeup. Sometimes she feels like she's a man ."
" Are you crazy? Tammy said. "If I don't put on makeup it's because I don't want to. It's not because I feel like a man. I don't even know what it's like to be a man. Do you? "
Tuesday, February 11, 2025
What To Do When You Are Stuck At Home
1. Eat
2. Sleep
3. Watch T. V.
4. Call a friend. (Oh. Right. She's working.)
5. Make a list of things to do when you're stuck in the house.
6. Make a list of things to do when you are finally set free. (The first two cannot be errands.)
7. Play phone games
8. Call your friend. (Oh. Right. She has to feed her family.)
9. Eat
10. Sleep. (Start a new list tomorrow)
Monday, December 23, 2024
PaRumpumpumpum
One of my favorite Christmas songs is 'Little Drummer Boy.' Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum.
Some find it very annoying. Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum.
I have always loved it. Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum.
I wanted to hear it every Christmas.Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum.
But one Christmas, I really heard the message. About a poor boy who had no gift fit for a king. He had no gold, no frankincense or myrrh. He had nothing of value. He only had his drum.
We don't know if the boy could play well. We only know, that's all he had. We don't need gifts to lay before the king. We just need to give him us. The whole of us.
Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, June 26, 2024
YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT...
Things to do while on hold.
1. Get dress.
2. Brush teeth.
3. Get laundry ready
4. Rearrange closets and drawers
5. Defrost refrigerator
6. Meet new friends also on hold
7. Train a puppy
8. Plant a garden
9. Put together a 3000 piece puzzle.
10. Start another puzzle
11. Make fudge
12. Plan a mini vacation
13. Send belated birthday wishes
14. Find a handy calendar to
Remember what day It is
15. Learn a new language
16. Crochet or knit a king size afghan
17. Learn patience
18. Learn it again
19. Go for a walk
20. Prepare for bed
21. Write a note reminding you who you called and why
Wednesday, March 6, 2024
I, YOU, ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM
Why is it, the food that is best for us is the stuff we don't like? The answer is discipline. We have to make choices. It would be nice if chocolate marshmallow ice cream was full of vital nutrients and vitamins. That would be an easy choice. Eating vegetables is harder.
Don't make the mistake in thinking I'm against eating ice cream. I could go for a pint right now. Discipline tells me to go for half a pint.
Sunday, February 25, 2024
It's Called...
Chuck and Josh were at the Friendly Neighborhood Bar with their friend Bart. Bart told the waitress he wanted a "valka".
"It's pronounced, vodka," Chuck said.
"That's what I said. Valka."
"Vodka!" Chuck said." Vodka. Some call it vodka. "
"Some call it breakfast," Josh said.