Really?

I watch a reality show called America's Worst Cooks. These are people who burn water. Chef Ann and her cohort take 16 people in teams of two show them something to cook and set them lose on the kitchen while the two chefs watch from above. The recruits run around like crazy trying to recreate what they were taught. One day, one recruit didn't realize that her frying pan was overheating as she scrambled for ingredients. Chef Ann shouts for her attention and fails to get it. Finally she shouts, "Your pan is hot and smoking what do you do?" The answer that popped into my head, "I don't know, take it out to dinner."

Read More

Better Than

Some people think it is better to have a dog than a child. A dog will wear anything you want them to without putting up a fuss. They will eat anything you put in front of them. They are always willing to show affection. They forgive you everything. They are never embarrassed to be seen with you. They will never run off to marry an out of work actor and they will always be home for the holidays. The bad side. Dogs won't take care of you in your old age. With children you have a fifty-fifty chance.

Read More

Beautiful

Peacocks are some of the most beautiful creatures on the earth. They have been used to decorate lawns and courtyards for centuries. When their tails are fully fanned it is an awesome sight. Then they leave their product all over your front porch and the trill is gone.

Read More

What?

My nephew was learning to talk when he was doing animal impressions for me. He barked and said dog. Than he meowed and said cat. Than he made a noise and said feint. I didn't know what he was doing. Again he said feint and I was a complete blank. He gave me a look that said, How can you be so stupid, than said clearly, "Elephant!"

Read More