Don't Smoke?

   The Odd Couple, a T. V. show from the 80's, had an episode where Oscar had a bet on a pool game that was between him and a pool shark.

  Things looked bad for Oscar. There seemed to be no way for him to win 

  The pool shark was a heavy smoker and had a smokers cough. Feliz, who was there to support Oscar, became concerned. He started asking questions.

  He found out how much the pool shark smoked and said, "My cousin smoked like that. He died when he was 45."

  The pool shark said," I'm 45." He threw away his cigarettes. It was his turn to take a shot. He was about to win, but not smoking threw off his balance and he lost. He got angry and grabbed back his cigarettes.

  Oscar asked Felix, "What did you say to him?"

  "I was just telling him about my cousin who died "

  " How did he die? "

   "He was hit by a bus."

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Weddings And Stuff

  Chuck's friend had hired Josh for the pre-ceremony wedding photos. Josh was putting away his camera when he heard the groom mutter, "I think I'm making a mistake."

  "Too late to back out now," Josh said. "We already taken the pictures." 

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Smart Money

  I heard a man talk about how to help kids be smart with money. You start with three cans. I added a fourth. One can is for spending. One for saving. One for charity. I added, one for tithe and offering.

  You let the kids decide how much they want to spend, save and give to charity. Tithe is ten percent and offering is from the heart. 

  If you start young enough, saving, giving and tithing becomes a lifelong habit. It will become natural to put aside money instead of spending it all.

  

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Don't Worry About Me

 Chuck and Josh went to take Chuck's grandpa to lunch. "We thought we'd walk to the cafe, Pops. You need to get some exercise, " Chuck said. 

  " Don't worry about me," Chuck's grandpa said. " I get my exercise just putting on my pants. "

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BAD CARBON. BAD.

   We have all heard a lot about reducing the carbon footprint print. What they are really talking about is carbon dioxide.

  Carbon dioxide is the stuff we exhale. The trees take it and make oxygen. Carbon is soot, coal, and diamonds. If you are leaving diamonds in your footsteps, pick them up. You are going to need the money.

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Music Tour

   Janey fell in love with Alister Neman's music when she was sixteen. She bought every album, every c. d. and downloaded every song. It was a life long dream to attend one of his concerts.

  When he announced his retirement, she was heartbroken. Janey decided she would attend every performance of his farewell tour no matter where it was.

  Janey quit her job, borrowed money, cashed her stocks and broke her piggy bank. She followed him to New York, Miami, New Orleans and San Francisco. She travelled to London, Paris, Rome and Tokyo. Wherever he went, she was there. 

  After a year, the tour was over. Exhausted, Janey returned to her apartment. She dropped her bags, plopped down into the armchair, clicked on the T.  V. and laid her head back with joyful contentment.

  Janey was just at the point of dozing off when she bolted upright. She could not believe what the reporter had said. "Alister Neman has just announced the dates for his comeback tour."

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Hold My Beer.

   Josh and Chuck went to the bar to have a couple of drinks. The place was crowded so it was hard to find a table. A big, buff, loudmouth took a dislike to Chuck. He questioned Chuck's courage and suggested he lack proper parents.

  "Looks like someone needs to be taught a lesson," Josh said.

  "Hold my beer," Chuck said. He walked over and slugged the big mouth and laid him out flat. Chuck returned to where Josh stood. He took back his mug. "You drank my beer!"

  "I didn't think you were coming back."

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