YOUR CALL IS IMPORTANT...

Things to do while on hold. 

  1. Get dress.

  2. Brush teeth.

  3. Get laundry ready 

  4. Rearrange closets and drawers 

  5. Defrost refrigerator 

  6. Meet new friends also on hold

  7. Train a puppy 

  8. Plant a garden 

  9. Put together a 3000 piece puzzle. 

  10. Start another puzzle 

  11. Make fudge 

  12. Plan a mini vacation 

  13. Send belated birthday wishes 

  14. Find a handy calendar to 

        Remember what day It is 

  15. Learn a new language 

  16. Crochet or knit a king size afghan 

  17. Learn patience 

  18. Learn it again 

  19. Go for a walk

  20. Prepare for bed

  21. Write a note reminding you who you called and why

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I, YOU, ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM

   Why is it, the food that is best for us is the stuff we don't like? The answer is discipline. We have to make choices. It would be nice if chocolate marshmallow ice cream was full of vital nutrients and vitamins. That would be an easy choice. Eating vegetables is harder.

  Don't make the mistake in thinking I'm against eating ice cream. I could go for a pint right now. Discipline tells me to go for half a pint. 

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It's Called...

 Chuck and Josh were at the Friendly Neighborhood Bar with their friend Bart. Bart told the waitress he wanted a "valka".

  "It's pronounced, vodka," Chuck said.

  "That's what I said. Valka."

  "Vodka!" Chuck said." Vodka. Some call it vodka. "

  "Some call it breakfast," Josh said. 

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Don't Smoke?

   The Odd Couple, a T. V. show from the 80's, had an episode where Oscar had a bet on a pool game that was between him and a pool shark.

  Things looked bad for Oscar. There seemed to be no way for him to win 

  The pool shark was a heavy smoker and had a smokers cough. Feliz, who was there to support Oscar, became concerned. He started asking questions.

  He found out how much the pool shark smoked and said, "My cousin smoked like that. He died when he was 45."

  The pool shark said," I'm 45." He threw away his cigarettes. It was his turn to take a shot. He was about to win, but not smoking threw off his balance and he lost. He got angry and grabbed back his cigarettes.

  Oscar asked Felix, "What did you say to him?"

  "I was just telling him about my cousin who died "

  " How did he die? "

   "He was hit by a bus."

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Weddings And Stuff

  Chuck's friend had hired Josh for the pre-ceremony wedding photos. Josh was putting away his camera when he heard the groom mutter, "I think I'm making a mistake."

  "Too late to back out now," Josh said. "We already taken the pictures." 

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Smart Money

  I heard a man talk about how to help kids be smart with money. You start with three cans. I added a fourth. One can is for spending. One for saving. One for charity. I added, one for tithe and offering.

  You let the kids decide how much they want to spend, save and give to charity. Tithe is ten percent and offering is from the heart. 

  If you start young enough, saving, giving and tithing becomes a lifelong habit. It will become natural to put aside money instead of spending it all.

  

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Don't Worry About Me

 Chuck and Josh went to take Chuck's grandpa to lunch. "We thought we'd walk to the cafe, Pops. You need to get some exercise, " Chuck said. 

  " Don't worry about me," Chuck's grandpa said. " I get my exercise just putting on my pants. "

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